how to clean your FB friends list

post the following on your facebook satus:


Gentlemen, if you are married or in a relationship and you’re “unhappy” and want to message me for my boss’s phone number to discuss divorce or division of property, by all means, message me.  If you want to message me to vent or ask my opinion, no matter how useless my opinion may be, I have one, so by all means message me.  If you want to message me because you somehow think that I’m sitting around waiting for someone to send me obscene messages, or to get together for drinks, dinner, or a quick fling in a cheap motel, you are wrong and this behavior is not going to fix your “unhappy” relationship, therefore, NO, DO NOT MESSAGE ME.  I understand that this is a “social networking” site but there is a reason why “relationship status” is an option.  If you are determined to continue on your current path, check out Craig’s List Personal posts.  I recently discovered there are no rules there and your behavior is commonly accepted. I’m sure some of you are sweating bullets right about now wondering if I am going to “OUT” you to our mutual friends.  You can wipe your brow and breathe easy. I’m not going to do that because I have no desire to get in the middle of your shit as I have enough of my own to wade through.  Ladies, if your man is a friend of mine and you are curious about whether or not I am talking to him, DON’T message me.  I’m not going to tell you, but I will say that if you even remotely suspect that I may be talking about your guy, I suggest you have a  discussion with him, because this mess starts at home, not on the internet.  By the way, I’m writing this not only on my behalf but on behalf of some of my girlfriends and you know who they are.  Don’t message them either.  Since most of you that I am referring to are not real bright, I’m going to help you out. I recommend you don’t panic and delete me as a friend.  Someone will surely notice and doing so would be akin to standing atop a mountain and screaming to the world that you are an unfaithful douche bag.  So just sit still, stop sweating and stop messaging me. I’m not interested and neither are my friends. Thanks.


Filed under Uncategorized

2 responses to “how to clean your FB friends list

  1. Melissa

    Fantastic and oh so true Tara!

  2. I have to admit I love the term “unfaithful douchebag”….

Leave a Reply to lilbittyoc Cancel reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s